My Muse...

I've been sitting here thinking about all of the crazy things in life; the things that have happened recently, in the past, and day-to-day struggles. There was a bombing that happened at the Boston Marathon not a week ago. When I heard the news, I was so angry. I mean, how could someone do something like that? They chose to permanently maim people, or take away the lives of loved ones in a family or another. The victims are forever marked with the scars and horrors of that day, and must live a different life because of the outcome of the catastrophe. It's horrible what humans do to each other. I don't even have words to describe how angry I was. I wanted to cry and to be angered at the same time. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to heal people, and maybe even to find and stop bad things from happening even before it happened.

Then there was the explosion in Texas. I have relatives there, so I was very worried. And not to mention, once I saw some actual clips of people taking footage outside their door, and then the giant explosion knocking them off their feet... the first thing I thought of was "what do you think you were doing?! Get away get away! I hope you're not hurt." Why do bad things have to happen? I know, I know. It's life, it makes the world what the world is. But that doesn't mean I like it, neither do I wish to accept how horrible things are.

Then of course... there are the day to day struggles in my personal life. I speak, possibly, for much of the people in my age-group or position. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in the sciences, and a year since then, have not been able to find a decent job. I have applied everywhere from McDonalds, to Starbucks, to Ross, to Target, the local mall and their shops, hospitals, restaurants, you name it. Nobody has even said so much as boo. I have received solicitation from sales-rep companies, but they turned out to be somewhat of a scam, so I avoided them. Other than that, I have had maybe one or two interviews. What's the big deal? I have had my resume critiqued over and over again to be most appealing and to the point. I have sent literally hundreds of applications out to every place that I could get my hands on. I have searched many websites and spent countless hours applying for jobs. I have also walked in personally to ask for the hiring manager, and yet nothing has happened. I have even called companies over and over asking if they had received my application as of yet. I spoke with individuals that I was acquainted with, hoping to get some connections so I can get a job. But alas, nothing has come about. I have school loans to pay, cannot even afford my own car or cell-phone bill, and I still live at home. I have nothing in my bank, and cannot get unemployment because I have used it up already. The best I can do is put my school loans on deferment. But what does that do? It makes the bills sky-rocket next time I see them because interest would have accumulated, greeting me warmly and saying "well hello thanks for letting us collect a little dust and extra interest too!" For a person who only has a bachelor's degree, and no car or house payments, that's a bad foot to start off on in life. There are thousands of people who are like me. But is it getting better? I don't think so. I have many friends who went back to school because they decided that they'd wait the storm and get more education. But I have found that the higher your education, the harder to get a job... particularly if you don't have adequate experience. The only friends of mine that are getting jobs are those who have family in a company, have a lot of experience, are willing to work for free, or have nothing but a high school diploma.

Here's another thing, for a company to hire you, you don't only need the education, but the experience. Endless applications say "Bachelor's degree and five years experience in..." So I'm thinking... okay, and how do I get that experience unless you hire me? I had someone ask me what work I've been doing for the past ten years, and when I didn't have ten years of work experience in customer service they turned me down flat. I then asked them "How can I get the experience unless you hire me?" I mean who needs ten years of experience talking on the phone saying "hello, how may I transfer your call?" And if it isn't the enormous amount of experience that they want, maybe they want extra certification that can take anywhere from 1-3 years. For example, there's a job posting that says 2-3 years experience in customer service, check. Experience cash-handling, check. Certification as a medical assistant... uhhhh excuse me? And you want this certification for a job that simply takes a patient's card and punches them into the computer records? I'm telling you right now I already have some experience here. But a certification? That's a little over the top. And what person with a bachelor's degree wants to spend an extra two years getting certification when they could spend those two years getting a master's degree? Well let me tell you something... I am almost tempted. I mean I can get a Master's in Teaching right now, and I would get out of school at the same time as I would if I went and got a certification in medical assisting at the local college. What looks more appealing? That highly depends, unfortunately. Is your local area in need of teachers or medical assistants? By the time you earn one or the other, will there be a glut of one and a need of another? Do you want to walk out with an extra $40,000 in debt (minimum) or maybe just $7000, on top of your current student loan? Once you get the certification or degree, will you have a better chance of getting a job, or worse? So many questions, and no answers.

I have heard tell that more and more companies will not hire you if you have been out of a job for six months or more. They would rather accept someone with no relevant experience but less gap between jobs than someone with more experience and six months gap since the last job. Besides that, some schools are contracted with companies to hire people straight out of college/university. Life is so unfair. The rich get richer, and the poor get more poor. The educated ones get left in the dust while the brown-noses gain status.

Things have got to change. America isn't what it used to be. And what's worse, the Americans aren't what they used to be either. I wish I had answers. I wish I could say "this is the answer to getting a job... to paying off that debt... to living a happy and peaceful life." We are all crying for help, but nobody answers. We're all stuck in a whirlpool with no known way out. I go to bed, despairing every night. I cry a lot, because there seems to be absolutely no future for my generation. For the simple things in life, I cry. Will I ever get a good job that rewards me for my education? Will I ever have my own average-income car? Can I ever have a little kitty and puppy to cuddle? Will I ever get to have my own little home? A garden of my own? Can I even have a family? A kitchen to cook food for my hubby and kids? Will my children suffer worse than I? Is it even fair of me to have children in such a despondent day and age? We're all dumb, jobless, in debt, and despairing. But every day I remind myself... there's got to be a way. There is hope. There must be a light at the end of that dark, long tunnel.